Boring Rainbow

Snowy weather might be upon us! The Farmer’s Almanac forecasted big weather for us this year and it’s been nothing but golden skies and clear nights. Because prepping is incredibly fun, I bought snow melt in August and have been WAITING FOREVER to try it. Snow already!

There’s no winning in the weather in Portland. It’s either too much rain or not enough, and this time we’re on that “oh dear God, is Global Warming happening and will we have enough water?” side of things. Does anyone else now worry about the future of civilization when the water abates for a day or so? I know I do.

We’ve all been incredibly ill over here, and the doctors have finally prescribed the elixir of Amoxicillin which makes me feel silly for not taking the z-pack that was gently tucked into a friend’s pocket from Mexico for me. I have it here, and yet… and yet… I didn’t take it, worried, afraid, all the things. There’s a fear of antibiotics (What if I kill all my flora and fauna? Then what?) and yet I want to return to the land of the living.

I’m reading Becoming Supernatural and Dr. Dispenza says to meditate and connect with the Field and Create the Beacon that You Are of Health and You Will Align With the Frequency of Possibility of a Healthy You and I’m like, “I’m so sick right now… I just fell asleep listening to you.”

It’s so hard trying to follow along with new age people when you’re ill yourself.

In essence, many say that illness is due to the person ill and that’s all. They might say this clearly or roudaboutly, but I can tell you, it’s no fun feeling sick and guilty for your inability to cure yourself at will.

My flu turned into pneumonia and I still tried to “connect to the field and a healthier me,” hopefully somewhat successfully, though slowly (while also imbibing of that sweet elixir of health–antibiotics. Thank you). One thing that did help was deep love.

A client told me to put my hand on my heart and send it love, and he said that this will still my heart, regulate my beating, and bring on the deep brain waves that sleep deprived parents and meditators crave so much.

So I did so. And, while ill, I also put my hand on my heart and I sent it love. And love to my whole entire body, and being, and I felt that, for those few minutes, the pain of it abated like a gentle wave, a gentle reprieve.

So that did kind of work, somewhat, really.

A gentle pause. A love letter to your heart.

And I realized that what’s needed during illness isn’t the responsibility of it all, but the insistent demand that you tend to your gentle self with a passion, in any way that you’re able.

What’s needed is deep love. Buy yourself flowers. Give yourself rest. Comfort yourself, dear child. You have comforts at hand and just need to gather and collect and apply as possible and needed, like a balm for your soul.

So I guess, now that I’m slightly better, I’m gathering.

This blog post is a gather.

The meditation later today will be a gather.

The nurse on the phone who said, “you poor darling, you must be miserable” was a gather.

Surround yourself with love when and where you can. Maybe I’ll write a whole book simply contradicting all of the advice that doesn’t bring joy and, instead, I’ll say

Let it rain! Let it rain.

BRING IT ALL IN. All the face masks. All the music that you love. All of the desserts at 3 pm. Let it rain.

You’ve got this.